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The Four Agreements is not a new book. The book was originally published in 1997. Yet, here I am talking about a book which is nearly as old as me. That is the power of books in general, no matter how old, you can always learn something. I learned quite a bit from The Four Agreements, which is why I am talking about it in this post. This is not meant to detail the book in its entirety, you can read the book for that. Here I will touch on the four agreements and how it makes me aware of wanting to find my freedom.
The four agreements are as follows:
Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best
Be impeccable with your word
To be impeccable with your word is considered to be the most difficult agreement to maintain. To be impeccable is to be without sin. Don Miguel Ruiz (the author) states that sin is anything that goes against oneself, and therefore being impeccable with language means to take responsibility for one's actions and remain without judgment against oneself and others. Hence, to be impeccable with your word is to speak with integrity, say only what you mean, avoid using your word to speak ill towards yourself and others, and use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
It is not easy to be impeccable with your word, but I believe this can be done with thinking before we speak. Most times we do not actually think. I mean critically think before we speak. Doing this can assist us in being impeccable with our word.
Don’t take anything personally
I can tell you now, I take things personally when I should not. I relate this to be maybe not having a strong sense of self which I thought I had. However, by understanding that I have realised not to take things personally anymore. Recently, I have begun to listen more and think about things I am taking in. In a way, I am filtering everything everyone says to me to determine how I need to respond. I am not taking things personally anymore. This is especially true for things that do not involve you. Do not take on others’ burdens. Do not take their problems or their successes personally.
Furthermore, it is important to remember that nothing other do is because of you. What others say or do is a projection of their own reality (i.e., their POV), their own dream - this is touched on more in the book. Remember, when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t make assumptions
This agreement I have made with myself and I am actively practicing it, much like the others. However, this agreement I am doing more due to me being an economist and I love assuming. When taught economics you are taught to assume. Unlearning this is not going to be easy but being aware has allowed me to begin my unassuming journey. How do you not assume? Ask more questions. Hence, when making this agreement you have to ask questions and express what you really want. Additionally, we have to communicate with others as clearly, we want to avoid misunderstandings and drama.
For me, entering into this agreement can change your life. We tend to assume and sit in our heads when we can ask and know.
Always do your best
Becoming aware is realising that your best is going to change from moment to moment, but realising that you have done your best - no matter the result is blissful. For instance, you best will differ when you’re healthy and when you’re sick.
This agreement entails integrating the first three agreements into daily life and also living to one's full potential. By incorporating the first three agreements and doing the best they can in all facets of life, you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. You will realise your best is good enough and you’re living the life you’re meant to live. You are free.
These seem like four simple things to do, right? I cannot answer that for you, but the book details these agreements impeccably and reminds the reader that these will not be easy to do. When you have lived your life a certain way and entered into various agreements, it is difficult to alter those quickly. Hence, Don Miguel Ruiz states that entering into these agreements with yourself will take time, but in the end, you will be free. I agree.
At the end of the day, we all want to be free. Free from being a financial burden. Free from fear. Free from anxiety. Free from the dread you feel on occasion. Free to live. This is what the book hopes the reader can achieve by entering into these four agreements. To be free. To be yourself. That’s all we actually want. Reading this book I kept thinking ‘am I my true self? Heck, do I know what my true self is? These are things people realise in various stages in their lives. I hope one day I end up finding the answer to that question. I think by entering into the four agreements, I am becoming aware of what my true self is. Or perhaps who I want my true self to be because currently, I am shedding the domestication. It feels good to become aware. You too can become aware of yourself by reading this book and pulling the points that resonate with you. That is all you should take from any book. Only take what resonates with you.